Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
