If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
