Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I can't turn off my feet"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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