he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
