He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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