# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
