Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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