Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
