Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
