Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
