Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
