we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
