I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Randomize