we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You are a genius and a whore.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize