Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
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Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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