I hope mine doesn't look like that
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize