So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
