Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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