The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
organizing the empties. That sober.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Are my feet made of real feet?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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