I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
