where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
FUCK WHALES
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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