Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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