whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
