One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
