I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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