So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm bleeding and have questions
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
