Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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