I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
