go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
