Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
