I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
