Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
