So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
