Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
