why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
