I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
