brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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