Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
