Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
