Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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