its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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