I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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