Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
