Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
where does the pee come out of this thing
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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