why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
