please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize