Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
