is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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