btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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