You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
