We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
