i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
