I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
