We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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