You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
