The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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