escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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