i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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