Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
