News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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